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SI’s swimsuit issue and the power of (the male) sex

February 15, 2015

Picked up my first-ever copy of the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit issue, which I bought for one reason and one reason alone – an image of a man.

Well, that’s not entirely true. I have to write about Greenwich actress Kelly Rohrbach, one of the featured “rookie” models, in my guise as editor of WAG magazine. But mainly I bought the Swimsuit issue for the two-page Levi’s spread featuring San Francisco 49ers ‘quarterback Colin Kaepernick, his teammate Vernon Davis and model Samantha Hoopes. (The Niners play in Levi’s Stadium.)

The ad campaign is about the most wholesome thing in the mag, which veers now and again into Playboy territory. The cover in particular has the media once again wringing their hands over whether or not SI went too far with a depiction of Hannah Davis in an itsy-bitsy, teeny-weeny, not-yellow-polka-dot bikini, the bottom of which she has pulled down to the top of her pubic region. This is a popular new trend in posing models – having them hook their thumb or thumbs in one or both sides of the pants or skirt to hint at the treasures and pleasures beneath. Colin does it on the cover of the fall/winter issue of VMan magazine. And a young woman holding a basketball does it in the Feb. 15 edition of T, The New York Times Style Magazine. ...

Of goddesses and their boy toys

February 9, 2015

Barneys has never shied away from provocation in its window displays or catalog, and its latest campaign – featuring supermodels of a certain vintage shot by Bruce Weber – is no exception.

The models, fully clothed in fashions by the likes of Céline and Balenciaga, pose with younger men who for the most part are not. In one, Christie Brinkley, clad in short, lacy Lanvin, pauses from applying her lipstick to succumb to the ecstasy of a tousle-haired hunk wrapped in a white bed sheet. In another, Stephanie Seymour Brant, in short, sheer Balenciaga, looks boldly at the camera as three nude men worship her with makeup mirrors.

Coupled with the appearance of plus-size model Ashley Graham in the new Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue, it would seem as if society were finally ready to acknowledge the sexuality of women, many of whom are neither young nor thin.

So, as I said, it would seem. Seeming, however, doesn’t make it so. The models may be middle-aged but they are still gorgeous women. And the posts about Graham, who appears only in an ad in Sports Illustrated not an actual spread, range from saying she’s too fat to remarking that she’s too thin for plus-size work. (Graham’s a size 16.) ...

The NFL, Colin Kaepernick and the R-word

October 21, 2014

Well, thank God Peyton Manning and the Denver Broncos beat Colin Kaepernick and the San Francisco 49ers on “Sunday Night Football,” with Manning breaking Brett Favre’s record for most touchdowns thrown (508). All’s right with the universe – the universe that sees Colin Kaepernick as such a threat, that is.

All last week we had to hear how Manning, legend, is an elite pocket passer who knows how to read the field when he throws to receivers while Kaepernick, overrated upstart, is a hybrid QB – part running back, part major league pitcher – who may be excitingly unpredictable and talented enough but no Manning.

That may very well be the case, but what grates is that the argument seems to extend beyond football to the realm of the personal where race and sexuality intersect.

Let’s stay with football for a moment, shall we? In three seasons thus far, Kaepernick has put up numbers comparable to the first three seasons of the Niners’ last great quarterback, Steve Young, who was also a running QB. Indeed, Kap was about the only one who kept his injury-riddled team on the field at all in the abysmal 43-17 loss to the Broncos. So he’s the real deal.

But he’s not the real deal in a traditional way. He’s a QB who’s a brilliant runner in a sport where “running quarterback” is code for “black” (Michael Vick, Russell Wilson, Robert Griffin III, Cam Newton) and “elite pocket passer” is code for “white” (both Mannings, Peyton and Eli, Tom Brady, Aaron Rodgers, etc.) ...

Men – the fairer sex?

October 11, 2014

Boy, nothing gets women piqued faster than telling them that men are the better-looking sex.

I had this conversation with two female friends recently, one of whom skeptically said to me, “Do you really believe that?”

Yes, I do, though perhaps not in the way they might think. Of course, the average woman – with her makeup and her Spanx – might be more gussied up than the average guy. But what I mean is that aesthetically, the best-looking man is better-looking than the best-looking woman, that I would take the Apollo Belvedere over the Venus de Milo any day of the week and twice on Sunday.

Blame it on hormones. Male hormones give them bigger, hotter, lusher, more dangerous looks that read easily across a crowded room. Consider Colin Kaepernick, photographed by Bruce Weber on the cover of the new V Man magazine.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, he has a nose like a toucan, closely cropped hair and lots of tattoos, which displease some of the fashion police.

And yet – wow – those eyes, like Cognac in firelight; those long, thick lashes; that cut jawline (to go with that cut body). Ladies, ladies, do you think a woman could carry those off? ...

The NFL takes a “paws” for a cause

September 21, 2014

Football took a holiday from its troubles Sept. 18 as members of the New York Giants’ most recent Super Bowl-winning teams hit the runway at Bloomingdale’s White Plains to support New York Pet Rescue.

Former wide receiver Amani Toomer, former punter Jeff Feagles and former guard Chris Snee walked some four-legged models – or rather the “models” walked them, perhaps giving credence to W.C. Field’s line that you should never work with kids or dogs.

Or maybe you should. At one point, Andy – one of the two-legged models – paused (or should that be pawsed?) to let a woman in the audience pet the dog he was carrying. Then he kissed the hand that had caressed the animal. Lovely.

The event underscored that it takes all kinds to make this world. Football players generally are not as lithe of physique as models. Nor do they slip easily into ready-to-wear or hold a pose the way models do. They’re built for and are used to moving.

But the Giants trio had good fun, with Amani Toomer even imitating the classic model’s slouch for the delighted audience. ...

For Anna Wintour, everything new is old again… when selecting a TB (tennis boyfriend)

August 27, 2014

Each August, I breathlessly await the arrival of the gazillion-page September Vogue, not for the fashion, silly, but to answer the question that flits among my neurons all summer: Who will editrix Anna Wintour anoint as her new TB (tennis boyfriend)?

For as I said in a post on this site last winter about Maureen Dowd, RGIII and Jane Austen, an accomplished woman of good fortune must be in want of a PB (pretend boyfriend).

Or, in Anna’s case, a PTB or just TB. As we all know, Anna – who has featured many, mostly male tennis stars in the pages of Vogue – has been pretend-dating Roger Federer – aka Feddy Bear – for years, sending racks and racks of clothes over to his hotel suite when he’s in town for the US Open, presumably while Mrs. Fed looks the other sartorial way.

Then in 2011, Anna’s journalistic instincts got the better of her and she decided to play the hot hand...

L’Wren Scott and the act that begs the question...

March 20, 2014

When a beautiful, talented woman dies in the prime of life, words fail. I don’t know why the death of L’Wren Scott hit me so hard. As editor of WAG magazine, I featured her dresses in the mag’s pages from time to time. They always captured the myriad aspects of elegance, how it could be prim, erotic, even whimsical. I remember one smashing wine-colored number that I actually helped a reader track down. She just had to have that dress.

Still, I didn’t know Scott. And I can’t say I have the passion for fashion that I have for, say, the arts or certain sports. There’s something unforgiving about fashion. Maybe she felt it, too.

Suicide begs the question, Why? Why do people who seem to have considerable resources of all kinds end it all?