Amid the throes of Brexit, Harry and Meghan have staged what the media is calling a Megxit. The couple is stepping back as senior royals to divide their time between Great Britain and the continent the British lost — that would be North America — while somehow still remaining in the royal family.
Wow. Just wow.
In a real way, Harry and Meghan, the Duke and Duchess of Sussex, represent the culmination of Edward and Wallis, the Duke and Duchess of Windsor. The latter couple remained forever on the fringe of the royals, longing for the HRH for her and the invitation back into the fold for him. In a more modern age, Harry and Meghan are carving out a new path that was probably inevitable. Anyone who watched them from the early days of their relationship could see how besotted he was with her — “the woman he loved,” to borrow from his great-great uncle’s abdication speech about his feelings for Wallis. The question that arose in minds on this side of the Pond as they married was how would Meghan adjust?
We now have our answer. Look, Americans, who are like cats, do not take direction well. It doesn’t mean they can’t toe a royal line. There was Princess Grace and Queen Noor, who became wholly devoted to Monaco and Jordan respectively. But those were different times. Meghan is not merely an independent-minded American. She’s an independent-minded feminist American with a husband in touch with his feminine side, a husband whose beloved mother — the late, lamented Princess Diana — adored escaping to America.
Now Harry has fulfilled her fantasy. He’s escaped the strictures of royalty. But I think it is disingenuous of him and Meghan to think they can have their elderflower wedding cake and eat it, too. If they really want to be financially independent, they’re going to have to make a clean break. They can’t hop in and out. That’s not fair to anyone, least of all them and their son, Archie.
And yet, they want to remain part of the royal family, something that’s going to be hard given the little notice they gave the family of their leave-taking.. But that’s always been the crux of the human condition: How to belong to others and yet retain something for yourself. It was the great French Renaissance philosopher Michel de Montaigne who came up with the answer: “Lend yourself to others,” he wrote, “but give yourself to yourself.”
There are those in Britain, particular the press, who will blame Meghan for this. I must admit I’ve never taken to her the way I did to the more beautiful, stylish, everything Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge, her sister-in-law, England’s winning future queen. I even prefer her Prince Louis to Archie. But then, I’m the oldest of three sisters. I like structure, order, organization, tradition, history, classicism.
I also like playing fair. Harry chose Meghan. Meghan chose Harry. To watch him rub his hands together in delight as he announced the birth of their son was to see what true love is. There’s a reason the wedding vows include the words “and forsaking all others.”
It may seem like a betrayal to some. And it will sting. But they chose each other and now they’ve chosen a new path for the next chapter of their lives together.
Be happy for them.