20 Questions to ask before the Super Bowl

Hey, Richard Sherman, are you ready for some (New York) football? Photograph by Jeffrey Beall

1.  Will there be a super-duper storm for the Super Bowl as predicted by the Farmers’Almanac?
2. If there is a storm, will Peyton Manning, who is said to have trouble in the cold, be affected by the weather?
3. Will the rest of the Denver Broncos be affected by the weather?
4. Will the Seattle Seahawks be affected by the weather?
5. Will the fans be affected by the weather?
6. Will anyone talk about anything but the weather before, during and after the big game?
7. Why is the blogosphere just now waking up to the fact that the Super Bowl is going to be played outdoors?
8. Why can’t the blogosphere understand that though Super Bowl XLVIII is being played at MetLife Stadium in New Jersey, the teams that play in that stadium have New York in their names, hence New York is co-hosting the Super Bowl?
9. Why can’t the blogosphere understand that Metropolitan Opera star Renée Fleming is more than capable of singing the National Anthem?
10. How many people in the blogosphere can sing the National Anthem, getting all the words right? (Bonus question: How many know the second verse?)
11. Will Seahawk Richard Sherman – of the now-infamous post-National Football Conference Championship rant – survive his encounter with the Big Apple?
12.  Will the Big Apple survive its encounter with Richard Sherman?
13.  Will Richard Sherman be on his best behavior during any on-the-field interviews?
14.  Why are all the on-the-field reporters women when all the commentators sitting in the nice warm booths are men?
15. How many times will one of the commentators refer to another of the commentators as “Coach”?
16. How many people will skip the famous commercials to make a sandwich or use the privy?
17. Speaking of a word like privy, how many people will cut out altogether at 9 p.m. to tune in “Downton Abbey”?
18. Speaking of dramas, will New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo sit next to embattled New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie or treat him like he has cooties?
19. How many Monday-morning quarterbacks will call this year’s outdoor Super Bowl “an experiment never to be repeated”?
20. Are you ready for the Winter Olympics?