Capturing the king: Geno Smith and the theater of violence

August 12, 2015

Football is war as theater. Violence is endemic to the sport. So it comes as no surprise that New York Jets’ linebacker Ikemefuna Enemkpali should sucker-punch his teammate, starting quarterback Geno Smith, over a $600 plane ticket Enemkpali purchased for Smith that he has yet to reimburse.

Enemkpali, (in-em-PAUL-ee) who was arrested during his Louisiana Tech days for battery of a police officer, was immediately released by the Jets. Even as NFL altercations go, this hits a new low in stupidity, and, of course, the snarkarazzi was out in force. ...

Tom Brady and the fatal flaw of hubris

August 1, 2015

Tom Brady has lost home-field advantage.

The NFL Players Association had sought to have a union-friendly Minnesota court hear its suit against the NFL over its four-game suspension of Brady. But Judge Richard H. Kyle said, Not so fast. Where’s the jurisdiction?

Uh, precisely. Deflategate took place in Gillette Stadium in Foxboro, Mass. The NFL is headquartered in Manhattan and the union, in Washington D.C. This is an I-95 corridor issue.

As it was, the judge kicked it back to New York where the NFL filed its own suit to validate commish Roger Goodell’s right to suspend Brady. So the NFLPA lost whatever chance it had to have its case for an injunction heard in a receptive venue. The thinking was that Adrian Peterson’s case – he was suspended for taking a switch to his 4-year-old – was overturned in Minnesota. So why not go there? But Peterson plays for the – pause for effect – Minnesota Vikings. And anyway, his case turned not on his being disciplined by the NFL but on his being disciplined twice for the same thing ...

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Tom Brady – the NFL’s Nixon?

July 29, 2015

From the standpoint of stupid, it’s hard to beat Deflategate. It’s a writer’s dream, a story that keeps getting more and more bizarro.

NFL commish Roger Goodell – hardly the paragon of Alexandrian leadership – has nonetheless grown a spine and upheld his four-game ban of New England Patriots’ quarterback Tom Brady, which followed an NFL-commissioned report concluding Brady probably knew that two Pats’ employees had deflated the team’s footballs before the A.F.C. Championship game with the Indianapolis Colts. ...

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Is Tom Brady going down?

July 24, 2015

Tom Brady has apparently made the NFL an offer it can refuse.

The NFL Players Association, on behalf of the Deflategator, has offered to have Tommy Boy pay a big fine in lieu of a four-game suspension. The overture has “met with silence” in the office of commish Roger Goodell, who heard Brady’s appeal June 23. The New England Patriots’ quarterback is prepared to make a federal case out of this should he be suspended for probably having knowledge of subordinates deflating footballs in the A.F.C. Championship game against the Indianapolis Colts earlier this year. But the fact that the Players Association has put out an offer seems like the moment in a crime show when the defense looks to plea bargain. And that suggests a certain guilt ...

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American Pharoah among ESPY nominees

June 25, 2015

Kudos to Novak Djokovic, Aaron Rodgers and American Pharoah, all among the nominees for ESPYS (Excellence in Sports Performance Yearly).

AP got the nod in the Best Championship Performance category, along with San Francisco Giants’ ace (and World Series star) Madison Bumgarner, Florida Softball’s Lauren Haeger and LeBron James. No word yet on whether the Pharoah will attend, although his jockey and fellow nominee Victor Espinoza will no doubt be there.

Nole got two noms – Best International Athlete along with Formula One’s Lewis Hamilton, the LPGA’s Lydia Ko and soccer’s Lionel Messi and Cristiano Ronaldo; and Best Male Tennis Player, along with Roger Federer, Stan Wawrinka and Marin Cilic. Aaron was also a double nominees as Best NFL Player (along with Tom Brady, Antonio Brown, DeMarco Murray and JJ Watt) and Best Male Athlete, with Watt again, James and Stephen Curry. ...

Deflategate and the blame the victim game

June 14, 2015

Breaking Deflategate news – yeah, I know, you were waiting with bated breath for this – but according to a new study by the American Enterprise Institute, it’s not that the New England Patriots’ balls were deflated too much but that the opposition Indianapolis Colts’ balls deflated too little.

Oh, I get it:

Defense attorney: “Your Honor, it’s not that my client absconded with the money. It’s that the money was there to abscond with.” ...

Top ten reasons why American Pharoah is one athlete who will never disappoint

June 13, 2015

Number 10: No fizzing out in the French Open finals. (Sorry, Novak Djokovic.)
Number 9: No flaming out in the quarterfinals. (Sorry, Rafael Nadal.)
Number 8: No meltdown over blisters, stray feathers, etc. (Sorry, Andy Murray.)
Number 7: No loud plaid shorts. (Sorry, Stan Wawrinka.)
Number 6: No left-handed compliments to rivals. (Sorry, Roger Federer.)
Number 5: No steroids. (Sorry, Major League Baseball.) ...