As the Easter egg rolls: A bromantic breakup

April 18, 2017

Easter eggs are not all that have been breaking lately. Hearts have been broken, too, as the bromance of the century ends.

Donald J. Trumpet and Vladdie “Rootin’ Tootin’” Putin called it quits after a relationship that lasted less time than that of Aaron Rodgers and Olivia Munn but certainly longer than Britney Spears’ first marriage.

“There is a low level of trust between our countries,” Secretary of State “Sexy Rexy” Tillerson, the John Forsythe of our 1980s nighttime soap opera, noted somberly after meeting with the Russians. ...

The rules of engagement: Trump rejoins the world America never left

April 10, 2017

President Donald J. Trump’s decision to respond to the chemical weapons attack in Syria with a bombardment of 59 Tomahawk missiles was the most presidential thing he has done so far. He’s not the first president to use an air strike as a form of gesture politics and, sadly, he won’t be the last.

But it had to be done. It’s what a President Hillary Clinton would’ve done. It’s what President Barack Obama should’ve done. What does it accomplish? Maybe nothing. But you cannot let chemical weapons go unnoticed. This year marks the centennial of the United States’ entry into World War I, the Great War, in which millions were gassed. The response was “Never again.” And yet it has happened, again and again. ...

Repeal and replace – DOA

March 27, 2017

Anyone who saw the furious recent town halls between the Republicans and their constituents knew that the repeal and replacement of the Affordable Care Act – otherwise known as Obamacare – would explode in the faces of the Repubs. The rushed proposal spearheaded by Ayn Rand-reading House Speaker Paulie “PowerPoint Presentation” Ryan would’ve deprived 24 million people of health care, according to the bipartisan Congressional Budget Office. But that was not Draconian enough for the Repubs’ Freedom Caucus (alias the Tea Party 1.5), which is its own little world of “no.”

Enter Strongman-in-Chief President Trumpet, who, along with Paulie PowerPoint, informed the No, No Nanettes that it was repeal and replace or live with Obamacare “for the foreseeable future.” ...