Deflategate gets curiouser and curiouser and curiouser. Now the New England Patriots would have you believe that it wasn’t about deflated balls but inflated bladders and waistlines.

In an attempt to seize control of the narrative, the Pats now contend that the time equipment manager Jim McNally spent in the bathroom before the AFC Championship game against the Indianapolis Colts wasn’t about emptying balls of their air but emptying his bladder. And his “Deflator” nickname referred to his trying to lose weight.

You know that when men start talking about their waistlines and their bladders it’s a sure sign they’re desperate.

I think, in the end, however, that we shall discover that this is less a story about waistlines than frown lines and perhaps being a step slower and seeing the young guns who idolize you making their way up the ranks, standing across the field where you once were.

Tom Brady has it all except for one thing – youth. Turning 38 on Aug. 3, he’s actually a middle-aged man. (The life expectancy for an American man is 76.4 years. What’s two times 38? Oh.) ...

I’ve been so busy charting the farce that is Deflate-gate – a narrative that keeps on giving – that I forgot all about Rafa’s and Feddy’s balls, or lack thereof, at the Australian Open. They’re both out, with Rafa falling most recently in the quarterfinals to Tomas Berdych in straight sets.

Is it all over for Fedal? Possibly but Rafael Nadal and Roger Federer singly will go on, injuries notwithstanding.

Meanwhile, it was Media Day, which brings out the loonies during Super Bowl Week. (Think sporting event plus Mardi Gras/Halloween/Comic Con.) The arrogance just dripped as Bill Belicheck refused to answer any more questions about squishy balls, and Seattle Seahawks’ running back Marshawn Lynch, who refuses to talk with the press, simply repeated, “I’m here so I won’t get fined.”

One person who’s been happy to talk is New England Patriots’ owner Robert Kraft, who’s demanding an apology from the NFL if its investigation finds the Pats had nothing to do with the 11 deflated balls they played with in the first half of their victory over the Indianapolis Colts in the A.F.C. Championship game. This as the investigation zeroes in on a “person of interest,” a Pats’ locker room attendant who was alone with the balls in a locked room for 90 seconds after they were certified by officials. (Maybe he just wanted a quiet moment with them.) ...

Deflategate – of waistlines, frown lines and men

Days of reckoning for Pats, Fedal